My brother’s idea of a relaxing time is building his own bonfire in the woods and howling at the moon. He is a bushwhacking, mud-flinging, cock-a-doodle-dooing wildman, who spends as much time in the great outdoors as possible. And he’s so crazy about animals that he is one! For a good while he had been fixed on the Japanese spider crab, until recently, when he found is new obsession of the week: the platypus. “They’re cute AND dangerous,” he raves, “With poisonous quills on their feet, almost like chicken spurs, you’ve gotta be careful!” He took out a matching pair of embroidered iron-on platypus patches, one for him and one for his son (my nephew). “Whoever designed the patch didn’t do much research. It seems to be lacking a tail, and its bill is three times too long.”
I dedicate this blog post to my brother. For his love of nature and wildlife, and for finding “a patch of common ground”.
#10 – “My Brother’s Prized Position” – Despite the unrealistic bill and missing tail, my brother agrees that platypuses do play a lot of baseball.
#9 – “Wolf Head” – I’d stay away from any human with this patch on their jacket, not to mention any wolf with a human head patched on.
#8 – “Eat Shoots First, Ask Questions Later” – Panda’s been on the endangered list for just one day too long.
#7 – “Multi-purpose Crab” – Whoever designed this patch loves crabs, bagpipes, coffee, and cupcakes.
#6 – “Angry Birds” – Please do not iron these onto your smart phone.
#5 – “Indian Elephant” – Truly one of natures most majestic creatures.
#4 – “Rock Out . . .” – He said it, not me.
#3 – “Wild Weasel” – To commemorate our outdoor experiences, sometimes the most humorous animals are the most memorable.
#2 – “Phew. . . It’s Just a Patch” – The real thing actually is that big.
#1 – “The Animal” – BEAT DRUMS! BEAT DRUMS!